Janat Yahaya Naggolola – Parenting Coach

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Have you ever felt like your living room suddenly transformed into parliament?

Complete with a speaker, opposition, and a whole lot of debates you never signed up for? That was me one Saturday evening with my four daughters.

One was busy negotiating who would sit where, another was crying because the drawing she made didn’t look “perfect,” while the youngest was laughing so hard she forgot she was meant to be eating her dinner. And in the corner sat my calm peacemaker, unbothered, humming to herself as if the world had no deadlines.

That night, as I watched the drama unfold, I remembered the words of Allah: “And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents” (Quran 31:14), and I realized something powerful: my children weren’t just being “difficult.”

They were showing me their temperaments, their natural wiring, a trust Allah has placed in my care. Once I understood this, parenting stopped feeling like chaos and started feeling like a purposeful journey of guidance.

The boss in diapers: My choleric

My eldest often takes charge like a little CEO. She once tried to “assign me” cooking duties while she “supervised.” At first, I wanted to resist her strong will, but I reminded myself that Allah gives some children leadership qualities for a reason. She is a leader in the making, and my job is to teach her humility, patience, and compassion along the way, as Allah teaches in nurturing hearts and souls.

The deep thinker: My melancholic

Then there’s my gentle thinker. She once cried for 20 minutes because her carefully coloured picture had a line outside the border. In her world, perfection is everything. I’ve learned not to dismiss her tears but to reassure her that mistakes don’t erase her value, they build her strength, just as Allah tests us so we may grow in sabr (patience) and taqwa (consciousness of Him).

The life of the party: My sanguine

My youngest can light up the whole house. She once started a story about eating a mango and somehow ended with how she was going to “visit space.” We were all laughing, except the mango, which remained uneaten. Yes, she’s forgetful, but her joy is a blessing from Allah. I simply give her structure while letting her sparkle, remembering that every child is a gift to be guided with love and wisdom.

The peacekeeper: My phlegmatic

And then there’s my peacemaker, who hates conflict so much that when her siblings argue, she quietly leaves and sits in her “peace corner.” The challenge? Getting her to move faster. But her calmness is a blessing from Allah. With gentle encouragement, she’s learning that peace also requires courage and that speaking up for what is right is part of fulfilling our responsibilities to others.

The parenting wisdom I discovered:

That evening taught me that every child is beautifully different:

The choleric brings leadership.

The melancholic brings depth.

The sanguine brings joy.

The phlegmatic brings harmony.

Together, they don’t just form my family; they form a symphony created by Allah. And yes, sometimes the music is loud, messy, or a little off-key, but isn’t that the beauty of parenting, guided by faith and sabr?

The next time your sanguine paints the dog blue, your choleric declares themselves president of the living room, your melancholic cries over a crooked line, or your phlegmatic is still tying shoelaces while you’re late, pause. Smile.

You’re not raising problems. You’re nurturing potential entrusted to you by Allah. You’re raising tomorrow’s leaders, thinkers, entertainers, and peacekeepers, one temperament at a time.

Which temperament do you see most in your child today, and how can you nurture it with love, patience, and guidance from Allah?

For more real-life parenting wisdom, reflections, and practical skills on raising children with presence, purpose, and faith, get your copy of my book PRESENT PARENT today.

Call +256772858289.