Are we preparing our daughters for divorce or for marriage?

Janat Yahaya Naggolola – Parenting Coach

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

In a world that celebrates independence and self-reliance, we must pause and ask: Are we raising our daughters to thrive in lifelong partnerships, or are we unconsciously preparing them to walk away from them?

Many parents, with the best of intentions, focus on equipping their daughters with the tools for personal success, academic excellence, financial stability, and career advancement.

While these are essential and commendable goals, we must ask whether we are also nurturing the emotional, spiritual, and interpersonal skills that a successful marriage requires.

Today’s social climate teaches young women to:

• Always have a contingency plan
• Protect their autonomy at all costs
• Prioritize individual goals over shared responsibilities
• Exit when faced with discomfort rather than engage in constructive resolution

While Islam encourages dignity, strength, and self-respect, it equally emphasizes the virtues of loyalty, compassion, sabr (patience), and mutual support, all critical elements in sustaining a healthy marriage.

Marriage, in our tradition, is not merely a social contract. It is a sacred covenant.

It is built on mawaddah (affection), rahmah (mercy), and sakinah (tranquillity); values that must be taught, modelled, and reinforced from childhood.

As parents, we must critically reflect:

• Are we teaching our daughters how to build and nurture a marriage, not just how to succeed alone?
• Do they understand that marital challenges are part of growth, not signs of failure?
• Have we modelled healthy conflict resolution, empathy, and partnership in our homes?

Let us raise young women who are:

• Spiritually rooted and emotionally intelligent
• Prepared to contribute to, not just benefit from, a marriage
• Equipped with the skills to resolve conflict, communicate effectively, and uphold commitment
• Confident in their independence, yet capable of meaningful interdependence

Let’s reflect:

In our efforts to empower our daughters, are we also preparing them for the realities, responsibilities, and rewards of marriage?

At MYND YOUR CHILD, we work with Muslim parents to build strong family foundations through values-based parenting, emotional intelligence training, and Islamic relationship education.

We help you:

• Instil character and commitment in your children
• Prepare them to enter marriage with wisdom and maturity
• Cultivate homes rooted in faith, love, and long-term stability

Let’s raise not just high-achieving individuals but future spouses, parents, and leaders who know how to stay, grow, and give.