Before you name them, prepare for them

Janat Yahaya Naggolola – Parenting Coach

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Before you choose a name for your child, choose the kind of parent you intend to become. Because parenting doesn’t begin in the labour ward, it begins in the heart, the mind, and the soul.

In faith, every step we take towards fulfilling a trust with sincerity is recorded as an act of worship. And what greater trust is there than raising a soul entrusted to you by Allah?

A young couple had been married for two years. Both were educated professionals and practicing believers, deeply excited to start a family. The moment the wife conceived, they praised Allah with gratitude and optimism.

However, the reality of parenting surfaced earlier than expected.

The wife became emotionally overwhelmed. Though caring, the husband struggled to support her through her mood shifts and emotional vulnerability.

Financial pressures escalated. By the time the baby arrived, sleep deprivation, unmet expectations, and lack of preparation left them both physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained.

Their love for the child remained sincere, but their lack of readiness transformed what could have been an act of worship into an exhausting daily battle.

Why preparation matters

• To create a stable home environment

The Prophet emphasized that compassion and tranquillity are essential ingredients for a thriving home.

Preparation provides the tools needed to cultivate that emotional safety, which children require to grow in confidence and connection.

• To avoid panic parenting

Islam teaches intentionality in all actions. An unprepared parent often reacts out of frustration rather than purpose. Preparation empowers you to parent with mercy, wisdom, and knowledge, not confusion.

• To heal before you inherit

Allah says,

“He has succeeded who purifies it, the soul.” (Qur’an, 91:9)

Unresolved trauma and emotional wounds can unconsciously shape how we discipline, engage, or neglect our children. Healing yourself is a prerequisite for raising whole, emotionally secure children.

• To address all-round needs

Children are born in a state of natural purity. Our duty is to nurture their holistic well-being, including the spiritual, emotional, intellectual, physical, and social aspects. That level of care demands more than love. It demands preparation and purpose.

• To honour the divine trust

Allah reminds us,

“Indeed, Allah commands you to render trusts to whom they are due.” (Qur’an, 4:58)

Children are not projects. They are sacred trusts from the Creator. We will be held accountable for how we guided, nurtured, and influenced them.

When should you start preparing?

• Before marriage

The Prophet said,

“Choose carefully for your seed, for women give birth to their like.” (Reported in Ibn Majah)

Before marriage is the time to refine character, develop emotional intelligence, and understand the essence of faith-based family leadership. You are not just selecting a spouse. You are choosing the future parent of your child.

• After marriage, before conception

This is the stage to align values and visions. Engage in meaningful conversations around parenting philosophies, spiritual upbringing, discipline styles, and shared goals.

Allah says,

“And He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an, 30:21)

This mercy should extend towards your shared mission as future parents.

• During active family planning

Strengthen your awareness of Allah, create a financial roadmap, and build consistent spiritual routines. Parenthood must be approached with intentionality, not left to chance or cultural default.

How to prepare effectively

• Mental & emotional readiness

Engage in reflective practices such as faith-based journaling, therapy, or personal mentorship. Build emotional regulation, practice patience, develop positive assumptions, and place your trust in Allah

• Spiritual foundation

Reconnect with the Qur’an and embed daily remembrance and supplications into your life. Model key prophetic traits, including truthfulness, compassion, humility, and integrity. Make sincere du’a for righteous offspring:

“Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes…” (Qur’an, 25:74)

• Financial planning

Develop a lawful and realistic family budget that includes essentials, charity, and emergency needs. Intend to earn through ethical means only, knowing that blessings in provision are far more valuable than abundance without them

• Relationship alignment

Discuss and clarify roles within the family using Qur’anic guidance and mutual understanding. Revisit and renew your shared parenting intentions frequently.

Principles that guide our journey

“O you who believe, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones.” (Qur’an, 66:6)

This divine command is a call to intentional family leadership. Protecting your family means safeguarding their faith, shaping their character, and nurturing their emotional well-being.

At MYND YOUR CHILD, we help parents, and those aspiring to parenthood, approach this sacred role with intention, faith, and leadership. Our services are grounded in the Qur’an, the model of the Prophet, and sound developmental psychology.

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