Five life-changing lessons I wish I knew as a teen
By Leilah Najjuuko – Life coach, author and public speaker
The teenage years are a mix of excitement, challenges, and self-discovery. Looking back, I wish I had learned certain lessons earlier, as they align deeply with the principles of Islam. By understanding and living these lessons, I could have embraced my faith more fully and approached life with confidence and peace.
If you are a teenager reading this—or someone guiding one—these reflections, rooted in both personal experience and Islamic wisdom, may provide a meaningful roadmap for navigating this phase of life.
Feel the fear, and do it anyway
In my teenage years, fear held me back. I hesitated to join activities or speak up, afraid of failure or judgment. What I didn’t realize then is that courage is not the absence of fear but acting despite it.
Did you know that Islam teaches us the importance of courage and tawakkul (trust in Allah)? The Prophet Muhammad faced immense challenges in spreading Islam but continued steadfastly, trusting in Allah’s plan. In the Qur’an, Allah reminds us:
“Indeed, Allah loves those who rely upon Him.” (Surah Al-Imran, 3:159)
If you are afraid to step out of your comfort zone, remember that Allah is always with you.
It’s okay to say “no”
As a teenager, I often said yes to things that didn’t align with my values because I wanted to fit in. But constantly pleasing others left me drained and far from who I wanted to be.
Islam emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and protecting our well-being. The Prophet said:
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both…” (Sahih Muslim)
Strength includes spiritual, emotional, and physical health. Saying no to things that harm your imaan (faith) or take you away from beneficial actions is not selfish—it’s wise. Guard your time, energy, and priorities.
Failing doesn’t define your worth
I used to think failure meant I wasn’t good enough. Whether it was a poor grade or not meeting expectations, I felt like giving up. But Islam reframes failure as an opportunity to grow.
The Qur’an teaches us that trials and setbacks are part of life and a means of drawing closer to Allah:
“And We will surely test you with something of fear and hunger and a loss of wealth and lives and fruits, but give good tidings to the patient.” (Surah Al-Baqarah, 2:155)
The key is patience (sabr) and seeking Allah’s help through salah and dua. Failure doesn’t define you—it is a step on the path to success.
I am imperfect, yet beautiful and enough
As a teenager, I was consumed by comparison. I felt I had to look or act a certain way to be valued. But Islam reminds us that our worth is not tied to worldly measures like appearance, wealth, or status. What matters is our heart and character.
The Prophet said:
“Indeed, Allah does not look at your appearance or wealth, but He looks at your hearts and deeds.” (Sahih Muslim)
Accepting myself as Allah created me was liberating. Islam celebrates diversity and reminds us that we are all part of Allah’s perfect creation.
Stress and anxiety are real – and it’s okay to seek help
In my teenage years, I thought admitting stress or seeking help was a sign of weakness. But Islam encourages us to seek support and reminds us that even the strongest believers faced difficulties.
The Prophet himself experienced sadness and anxiety, especially during the Year of grief. In those moments, he turned to Allah for comfort, but he also relied on his companions for support.
Allah reminds us in the Qur’an:
“Do not grieve; indeed, Allah is with us.” (Surah At-Tawbah, 9:40)
If you’re struggling, know that you’re not alone. Talk to trusted friends, family, or counsellors, and most importantly, turn to Allah in dua. He is Al-Sami’ (The All-Hearing) and Al-Basir (The All-Seeing).
How to support teens in learning these lessons
As adults, we have a responsibility to help teens understand these lessons and connect them to their faith. Here’s how we can support them:
Encourage reflection and gratitude: Teach teens to reflect on Allah’s blessings and trust His plan, especially in times of fear or failure.
Model Islamic values: Show them how to set boundaries, embrace imperfection, and prioritize their relationship with Allah.
Create safe spaces for open conversations: Let them share their struggles without fear of judgment. Sometimes listening is the most powerful way to support.
Make dua together: Engage in acts of worship as a family, such as praying together or reading the Qur’an. This strengthens bonds and helps teens find solace in their faith.
The teenage years are a precious time to build habits, character, and faith. By learning to trust Allah, embrace imperfections, and seek help, teens can navigate life’s challenges with resilience and confidence.
