Celebrating connections beyond Valentine’s Day

By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya
Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
As someone who deeply values the principles of Islam in every aspect of life, I have come to understand that love is a cornerstone of our faith. Islam encourages love and kindness—whether between spouses, within families, or among friends—and it provides a framework for these relationships that is sincere, meaningful, and deeply rooted in our belief in Allah. However, when it comes to Valentine’s Day, many Muslims feel conflicted about how to celebrate, given its non-Islamic origins, commercialization, and sometimes inappropriate associations.
As a Muslim who values strong, loving relationships, I have learned that instead of following traditions that might not align with our faith, we can celebrate love in ways that honour Islam’s teachings.
Why some scholars discourage valentine’s day
1. Non-Islamic origins
Valentine’s Day has roots in Roman and Christian customs, and many scholars view it as a practice that doesn’t align with Islamic teachings. Islam encourages us to avoid imitating non-Muslim religious practices and instead focus on establishing our unique identity as Muslims. The hadith, “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Abu Dawood) serves as a reminder for us to embrace practices that reflect our faith.
2. Commercialization & materialism
The way Valentine’s Day is celebrated today, with its heavy emphasis on material gifts, expensive dinners, and commercialized love, doesn’t align with the Islamic ideal of sincerity. Islam teaches that love should be expressed with modesty, thoughtfulness, and real affection, not through pressure to spend or display extravagant gestures.
3. Encouraging unlawful relationships
Unfortunately, Valentine’s Day has become associated with promoting love outside the bounds of marriage. Islam upholds the sanctity of marriage and encourages love and affection between spouses within the framework of halal relationships. Anything that goes against these values is discouraged in Islam.

Love in Islam: Everyday acts of affection
From my personal experiences, I have come to realize that love in Islam is not something to be celebrated only on one day. It’s about consistency, sincerity, and showing affection regularly. The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) taught us how to nurture relationships with love, respect, and care. His beautiful relationship with his wives serves as a timeless example of how to keep love alive in marriage.
• Spending quality time – One of the things I have found invaluable is spending time with my husband. Just like the Prophet (PBUH) would engage in light-hearted activities with his wives, it is important to create memories, share laughter, and enjoy each other’s company.
• Verbal expressions of Love – We should never underestimate the power of words. The Prophet (PBUH) openly expressed his love and appreciation for those he cared about, reminding us that kind words can go a long way in nurturing love and affection.
• Gift-giving – One of the most beautiful Sunnahs I cherish is the act of giving gifts. The Prophet (PBUH) said: “Give gifts to one another, for gifts remove ill feelings from the hearts.” (Tirmidhi). Whether it is a simple gesture or a thoughtful gift, it’s the meaning behind it that strengthens bonds.
Halal ways to celebrate love with your spouse
Instead of waiting for one special day, love should be celebrated every day in small but meaningful ways. Here are some ideas for halal romantic gestures that I personally find meaningful:
1. Write a heartfelt letter
Taking a moment to express your love in a letter can be a powerful reminder of how much you value your spouse. I have written letters myself, reflecting on all the little things I love about Mwami Ssekaaya, and it always sparks deep conversations.
2. Cook their favourite meal
Food is such a personal way to show love. Preparing a meal that your spouse enjoys can be an act of care that is often more meaningful than a store-bought gift.
3. Plan a private dinner at home
You don’t need to go to an expensive restaurant to have a romantic evening. You can create a cozy, intimate dinner at home with simple decorations or candlelight, making the experience feel special without needing to conform to outside expectations.
4. Give a thoughtful gift
Rather than following the Valentine’s Day trend of commercialized gifts, I prefer giving something personal that has real meaning. It could be something related to their interests or a simple reminder of the love you share.
5. Take a walk together
There is something so peaceful and intimate about just walking together. It gives space for meaningful conversation and connection. My husband and I have enjoyed these simple walks, especially when we take time to appreciate the quiet moments.
6. Make dua for them
One of the most profound ways to show love is through prayer. Often make dua for your spouse’s happiness, health, and success, and I know this act of care is more powerful than anything material.
7. Read or learn together
Sometimes, learning together brings you closer. You can listen to Islamic lectures or reading books about your faith. It is a bonding activity that strengthens not just your knowledge but your connection as well.
Love is not something that should be confined to one day of the year. In Islam, love is a continuous journey that should be nurtured every day, through acts of kindness, affection, and mutual respect.