Children deserve protection and respect

By Janat Yahaya Naggolola – Parenting coach

Children are among the blessings of Allah, and as adults, we are entrusted with the sacred duty to nurture, protect, and respect them. Every child has the right to grow in an environment that prioritizes their well-being and dignity, allowing them to thrive and fulfill their potential. This duty goes beyond providing for their physical needs—it encompasses their emotional, psychological, and spiritual well- being.
As parents, we place our trust in caregivers, believing they will show our children love, mercy, and kindness. However, heartbreaking incidents remind us of the importance of exercising great caution and discernment when choosing a caregiver.
One recent incident shook all of us to the core: A mother left her young child in the care of a trusted friend, only to discover that the caregiver had violated this trust in unimaginable ways. Unbelievably, this person, who is potentially a mother too, not only did she neglect the baby, but also did something despicable. Subuhaanallah! She relieved herself on the child, rubbed it all over the child’s face and head. And as if that was not disgusting enough, she made the child drink her urine too! How inhumane! The child was left distressed and traumatized, the mother and the entire world horrified.
This tragic situation reinforces the need for thorough care and vigilance when it comes to entrusting our children to others. And so, to protect our children, we must carefully evaluate anyone we consider entrusting with their care.

Here are some guidelines I recommend every parent to consider, while choosing a caregiver for their child.
1. Conduct thorough character and background checks
Take the time to learn about the caregiver’s character, values, and attitude towards children. Seek out references from people who know them well, particularly those with firsthand experience of their interactions with children. Make sure they have a track record of trustworthiness and kindness.
2. Seek someone who embodies mercy and kindness
Compassion is at the heart of caregiving. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the importance of mercy toward children, saying, “He who does not show mercy to our young ones…is not of us” (Sunan Abi Dawood). A suitable caregiver will approach children with gentleness, respect, and genuine love. Look for someone who naturally exhibits these traits.

3. Observe their interactions with your child
Spend time observing how they interact with your child. Do they engage in a gentle and patient manner? Does your child respond positively to them? These observations can reveal a lot about the caregiver’s temperament and suitability for the role.
4. Choose someone who respects children’s rights and dignity
As Muslims, we are reminded to honour the dignity of every soul. The Quran teaches, “And do not kill the soul which Allah has forbidden, except by right…” (Quran 6:151). A respectful caregiver values a child’s innocence and approaches them with a sense of responsibility and respect. Avoid individuals who have a history of being dismissive or harsh with children.
5. Have open, direct conversations about caregiving approaches
Ask clear, open-ended questions about their views on discipline, conflict resolution, and caregiving practices. For example, you could ask, “How do you handle situations when a child becomes upset?” or “What do you believe is the best way to teach children right from wrong?” A trustworthy caregiver will be transparent about their methods and approach.

In addition to these steps above, consider taking extra measures to ensure your child’s safety:
• Communicate openly with your child. Encourage them to share their feelings and experiences and make it a habit to ask them about their day.
• Consider using technology responsibly, such as baby monitors, if it helps you feel more at ease with caregivers in your home.
• Check in unexpectedly when someone is caring for your child to see how things are going firsthand.
Choosing the right caregiver is a profound responsibility and sometimes a difficult decision. But by taking the above steps, we can better safeguard our children and provide them with the compassionate, respectful care they deserve.
Let us ask ourselves these questions: Are we doing all we can to ensure our children’s safety when we leave them in the care of others? Are we mindful enough in evaluating those entrusted with their well- being?
May Allah protect our children from harm and grant us the wisdom to make the best choices for their welfare.