Making time for love in the middle of it all
By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya
Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
It begins subtly. A missed morning kiss. A conversation postponed. Date nights rescheduled “till next week.” Days roll into weeks, weeks into months, and soon, you realize — you are sharing a home, raising children, building careers, fulfilling community roles… but you are hardly sharing each other.
In a world that demands everything from us— deadlines, devotion, dishes — it’s easy for love to sit quietly at the back of the queue. But love, just like faith, needs nurturing. And no matter how busy life becomes, our relationships must not run on autopilot.
As someone who juggles pots at Hatmahz Kitchen, partnerships in community work, and the realities of being a wife and mother, I know this firsthand. And so, this piece is not written from a place of perfection — but from experience. From the little things I have learned along the way.
The weight of the mundane
Love doesn’t die in big, dramatic ways. Often, it simply withers in neglect. The Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W), despite his enormous responsibilities as a leader, husband, and messenger of Allah, he madeintentional time for all his spouses. He listened, joked, helped at home, and made his wives feel seen.
Take the famous narration of how he would race with Aisha (RA) — not to prove his strength, but to show his love in the most playful way. He taught us that love is not kept alive by grand gestures alone, but by presence.
Small acts. Shared glances. A helping hand in the kitchen. A whispered “JazakAllah Khair” after a long day.
Prioritizing the relationship without guilt
Many women (and men) feel guilty for wanting more from their partner when life is already overwhelming. But longing for attention is not weakness; it’s the language of love reminding you: “We need time.”
The Qur’an describes spouses as “garments for one another” (Surah Al- Baqarah 2:187). Just like a garment shields, comforts, and beautifies — our relationships too, should be safe spaces ofemotional warmth. But how can we be those garments if we are too stretched to see or hear each other?
Making time — not finding it
Time doesn’t appear magically. We must make it. And here is how:
When its not about time, but energy
Sometimes, we do have the time — we just have no energy. And that’s real. It’s okay to say: “I am tired, but I want to be close to you.”
Love doesn’t always need talking. Sometimes, sitting next to each other in silence, holding hands as you scroll through TikTok, is enough. What matters is intentional presence.
The Sunnah of pausing
Rasulullah (PBUH) used to retreat — not to abandon — but to reflect and realign. Similarly, couples too need mini-retreats. A day off to just be. Not parents. Not workers. Just the two of you. Even if you can’t afford a weekend getaway, make home your sanctuary. Put the phones away, order takeaway (or call Hatmahz Kitchen — wink!), and enjoy a simple meal with love and laughter.
Marriage is a trust. Not just between two people, but between two souls journeying back to their Rabb. The Prophet (PBUH) said: “The best of you are the best to their wives.” That goodness is not measured in wealth or romantic poetry — but in consistent care, effort, and presence.
So even when life is a whirlwind — pause. Look into each other’s eyes. Ask: “How are you, really?” Hold their hand. Smile. Let your love know: I see you. I still choose you. Because in this fast-paced world, choosing each other — intentionally and repeatedly — is the real love story.
May Allah Subhanahu wa ta’ala make it easy for all of us… Ameen.
