Sacred secrets: The power of private jokes, nicknames & shared rituals
By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya
Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
In every beautiful marriage, there are things no one else sees—moments not captured on camera, words no one else understands, smiles exchanged across a room for reasons only the two of you know.
These are not just random quirks or habits. They are what I like to call sacred secrets—the private jokes, affectionate nicknames, and cherished little rituals that form the soft, quiet glue between two hearts. They are, quite simply, the soul of your love story.
The joy of inside jokes: Your own language of love
We have all seen it: a couple giggling in the corner over something no one else finds funny. That’s the magic of “our thing.”
In my own marriage, there are phrases that, if overheard, would sound ridiculous. But to my husband and I? They unlock memories, bring joy, and say more than whole paragraphs ever could.
From a burnt dinner that turned into a running joke, to the way he mimics my “serious face” during budgeting talks—these small sparks of laughter make even hard days softer.
The Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) exemplified this kind of playful love. He would race with Aisha (RA), tease her gently, and allow space for joy within the marriage. In a hadith narrated by Aisha, she said:
“I raced with the Prophet (S.A.W) and I beat him, but when I gained weight, he raced me and he won. Then he said, ‘This is for that.” – (Ahmad & Abu Dawood)
Even our Beloved Messenger (PBUH) embraced humour and fun with his spouse. Subuhaanallah! What a sweet sunnah to follow.
Nicknames: A single word, a thousand feelings
There’s something so endearing about being called by a name that no one else uses for you. It doesn’t have to be poetic. It just has to be yours.
From the affectionate “Habibi” or “Jaan”, to quirky ones like “Mister Forgetful” or “Miss Chai Queen,” nicknames capture the spirit of closeness. They are tokens of endearment wrapped in just a few letters.
The Prophet (S.A.W) gave Aisha (RA) a loving nickname—“Humayrah”—referring to her rosy complexion. It was a term of love, tender and personal. Imagine being remembered by your spouse’s soft words, even centuries later.
In your own marriage, if a nickname has faded, bring it back. Or create a new one. It’s a small thing that creates big feelings.
Rituals: The invisible threads that bind
Let’s talk about the quiet rhythms of love.
For some, it is always having tea together after maghrib. For others, it is holding hands while making du’a before sleeping. For me, it is how we always share the first bite—no matter who cooked.
These small acts may look ordinary, but in the heart of a marriage, they are sacred. They say: “I am here. I remember. I choose you, again.”
We can learn from the gentle ways the Prophet (PBUH) nurtured love. He used to help around the house, share meals, and offer his lap for Aisha (RA) to rest her head—even while she was menstruating. These were not grand acts—they were consistent ones.
You don’t need a fancy getaway to reconnect. Sometimes all it takes is a daily routine that says: “This moment is ours.”
What makes these moments sacred?
Because they are unseen, shared only between the two of you. Because they are not performed—they are lived. And because in nurturing them, you fulfill the trust of marriage that Allah (S.W) placed in your hands.
In a world that constantly demands “bigger and better,” let us not forget that love grows best in the soil of the simple.
These sacred secrets are not childish. They are intimate.
They are not random. They are intentional.
They are not just romantic. They are rewarded—when done for the sake of love, mercy, and Allah.
Your love challenge for this week:
Pick one thing:
🔹 Bring back a forgotten nickname.
🔹 Start a new inside joke.
🔹 Create a small ritual just for the two of you.
Let your marriage breathe a little joy this week. Nurture the unseen. And may Allah (S.W) place barakah in every moment you share.
Until next week, from my heart to yours… Hatmah
