Letters of the heart: Reviving the Sunnah of loving words
By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya
Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh
I once stumbled upon an old notebook tucked away in my auntie’s family cupboard. Its pages were yellowed with time, but what lay inside was priceless: little handwritten notes exchanged between my auntie and her husband. Some were no more than a sentence— “Don’t forget your lunch, I love you.” Others were prayers scribbled in haste: “May Allah ease your day,” and another, “JazakAllahu khayran for yesterday’s meal.”
Decades later, those words were still alive on paper, whispering the story of a love that had been nourished, word by word.
It made me reflect: sometimes, what the heart needs most is not a diamond ring or a lavish dinner, but gentle words preserved in memory.
The Sunnah of sweet speech
Islam does not shy away from romance. On the contrary, it sanctifies it. The Prophet (PBUH) himself set the example for us—not just in prayer and worship, but in tenderness with his wives. He called Aisha (RA) by nicknames like Humayrah (little rosy one), showing that affectionate words are not trivial, but prophetic.
In another narration, he openly declared his love, saying:
“I was asked, ‘Who is most beloved to you?’ He replied: ‘Aisha.’” (Bukhari)
Imagine the honour and joy of hearing your spouse say such words—not behind closed doors, but in public. These were not empty flattery; they were genuine words of love that uplifted and dignified.
Allah Himself reminds us:
“And speak to people good words.” (Qur’an 2:83)
If good words are a duty to strangers, how much more should they be to the one who shares your home, your meals, and your dreams?
Words that heal
Every marriage goes through its share of storms—misunderstandings, stress, or even silence. In those moments, a kind word can heal wounds faster than any gift. A simple “I appreciate you,” “I am sorry,” or “I am proud of you” has the power to dissolve tension and rekindle warmth.
Think about it: when was the last time you told your spouse directly, “I love you for the sake of Allah”? Such a statement is not only romantic, it is also deeply spiritual—anchoring your love in something eternal.
The Prophet (PBUH) encouraged this kind of verbal affirmation. He said:
“When a man loves his brother, he should tell him that he loves him.” (Abu Dawood)
If expressing love is recommended between friends, then surely between spouses it becomes even more important.
Modern letters of love
In today’s world, handwritten notes may seem old-fashioned, but the principle is timeless. Whether it is a sticky note on the fridge, a short text message during the workday, or a whispered word before bed—these are all “letters of the heart.”
- A wife can send her husband a WhatsApp message: “May Allah grant you barakah in today’s work. I am making your favourite dish tonight.”
- A husband can slip a small note into his wife’s handbag: “JazakAllahu khayran for everything you do for us—I notice it, even if I don’t always say it.”
- Couples can revive the practice of du‘a-filled notes, such as “Ya Allah, protect us and keep our love for Your sake.”
These words don’t just brighten a moment; they linger, reminding your spouse that they are seen, valued, and cherished.
Words that last beyond life
One of the most touching realities of loving words is how they outlive us. Children may stumble upon them years later, learning not just about their parents’ marriage, but about mercy, gratitude, and affection. Words have a way of becoming a family legacy.
Contrast this with harsh speech. A single cruel word can scar for years, while kind words are remembered with warmth. The Prophet (PBUH) warned us about the weight of the tongue:
“A servant may say a word pleasing to Allah without considering it significant, yet because of it, Allah raises him in rank…” (Bukhari, Muslim)
If such is the case with words in general, how much more reward is there in words that nourish a spouse’s heart?
Dear reader, when was the last time you sent your spouse a love note—even just a line?
Here are some simple habits and practical ways you and your spouse can try out to revive loving words
- Daily affirmations – Begin or end the day with one kind sentence. It could be as simple as, “Alhamdulillah for having you in my life.”
- The dua note – Write short prayers for each other and place them where your spouse will find them.
- Digital kindness – Use texts, voice notes, or emojis as small sparks of love throughout the day.
- Name of endearment – Revive the Sunnah of using affectionate nicknames—ones that bring joy, not mockery.
- Public appreciation – Praise your spouse in front of family or friends. Words of affirmation grow stronger when others hear them.
As I closed that old notebook, I couldn’t help but think: perhaps the simplest way to nurture love is to say it, write it, and repeat it. Words are free, but they are never cheap. They are treasures that echo long after they are spoken.
