Nurturing your relationship during stressful seasons

By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Life is not always rose petals and soft music. Sometimes, it’s unpaid bills, stubborn toddlers, job stress, and a cracked phone screen — all in one week. You are exhausted, your spouse looks worn out too, and somewhere between work and house chores, the spark feels like it’s flickering.

And yet… even in the noise, love can survive. In fact, it can thrive — if weare intentional about it.

Our Prophet (S.A.W) said:

“The best of you are those who are best to their families.”
(Tirmidhi)

That hadith becomes especially meaningful in the toughest of times. It’s easy to be loving when life is good – but it’s in the chaos that your love gets tested and refined.

Grace over perfection

In stressful moments, Shaytan is quick to whisper: “See how he didn’t help you?” or “She’s not even trying to understand you.” But the Qur’an reminds us:

“…and live with them in kindness…” (Surah An-Nisa: 19)

That kindness doesn’t have to be grand gestures. Sometimes, it’s simply holding back a harsh word, or offering a tired smile. So, replace criticism with dua. Instead of saying, “You are never here!”, may be try, “May Allah ease your burden. I am with you.”

Anchor yourself with small rituals

Even amid chaos, find your version of togetherness. A shared suhoor, a walk after Maghrib, or a quiet moment with your spouse after praying ‘Isha. These mini rituals can be deeply grounding.

Prophet Muhammad (S.A.W) used to help in the house — not out of obligation, but out of love. Find out those tiny acts of service that can make life sweeter for your spouse.

Be each other’s safe space

Hard times should draw you closer, and not push you apart. Remember the dua of our Prophet (S.A.W):

“O Allah, join our hearts…”
This dua is a reminder that unity is a blessing — and something we askfor actively. Instead of letting stress divide you, treat your marriage as your refuge. “I am struggling, but I know I am not alone.”

Communicate with compassion

Don’t assume your partner knows what you need. And don’t hold in pain until it turns to resentment. Talk — softly, respectfully, and without blame. Try: “I miss our connection. Can we make time for us this week?”You can even start with a shared dua. Turning to Allah together during hardship creates intimacy that words can not match.

Remember that marriage is ‘ibaadah

Every struggle you endure with your spouse — from handling bills to rocking a baby to sleep — can be an act of worship. Allah rewards patience, service, gentleness, and good intentions — even when no one sees. So, that tea you make for your spouse after a long day? That forgiveness you offer despite the hurt? That moment you hold their hand in silent dua? It all counts. It’s all recorded.

From Hatmahz Kitchen…

I have seen it: during our busiest times — lunch rush, late orders, power cuts — the kitchen either becomes a battlefield or a place of deep teamwork. Marriage is the same. When stress hits, you either blame or bond. You either shut down or you show up. And showing up? Even when tired, or imperfect — is Love.

The Prophet (S.A.W) said:

“Indeed, with hardship comes ease.” (Qur’an 94:6)

Hard seasons don’t last. But how we treat each other in those moments? That lingers. So, take a deep breath. Give that hug. Make that dua. Let your love grow, not in the absence of chaos — but in spite of it. Your relationship is a garden. Keep watering it — even when it rains.

May Allah make it easy for all of us. Ameen.