The art of halal seduction: Rekindling romance in marriage

By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

There is a common tragedy in many marriages: The same man who once ironed his shirt twice before a date… now lounges in a shirt with more holes than fabric!
The same woman who once spent an hour choosing the perfect perfume… now sprays whatever is closest to the sink.

Life happens. Responsibilities pile up. But in the process, we often forget a sunnah that is as old as love itself: attracting your spouse.

Yes, even that can be an act of worship.

Beauty for the one who matters most

We are a generation that often dresses our best for strangers, but not for our spouse. Yet Islam gently calls us to flip this script.

Ibn Abbas (RA) once said:

“I like to adorn myself for my wife as I like her to adorn herself for me.” (Tafsir Ibn Kathir)

In other words, self-care, grooming, and looking your best are not just a “woman’s job.” Both husband and wife have the right to see each other at their most presentable, fresh, and appealing.

The Prophet (PBUH) was known to use miswak, apply perfume, and wear clean clothes before returning home. Imagine your spouse knowing that you got ready for them, and not for anyone else.

The spark is Sunnah

Seduction, when halal, is not shameful. It is sacred. It’s what keeps the heart excited, the eyes satisfied, and the home protected from outside temptations. Even small changes can make a difference:

• Wearing your spouse’s favourite colour.
• Trying a new hairstyle.
• Switching from “house clothes” to something neat before they arrive home.
• Using that perfume you wore when you first met.

These details whisper: “I still choose you.”

Playfulness without boundaries being crossed

Flirtation in marriage is not only allowed, it is recommended. Playful words, teasing, a lingering glance—these are the ingredients that keep the marriage alive. Remember the hadith where Aisha (RA) said:

“The Prophet (PBUH) would put his mouth where I had drunk from, and he would drink from it.” (Muslim)

Romance in Islam is not stiff or cold. It is rather warm, personal, and alive. And below are some ideas to rekindle your romance while keeping it faith-friendly:

• Surprise grooming nights – agree to dress up for each other once a week. Candles optional, smiles mandatory.
• Secret compliments – whisper them instead of texting. Let them hear the warmth in your voice.
• Shared fragrance – pick a scent you both love, and use it often so it becomes your smell.
• Date nights at Home – set the table, dress like you are going out, and eat like newlyweds.
• Love letters – slip them into pockets, lunch bags, or under pillows.

Why this matters spiritually

A marriage that neglects attraction invites distance. But when spouses protect each other’s hearts by remaining beautiful for each other, they are protecting their deen.

Allah (S.W) tells us:

“…They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them.” (Surah Al-Baqarah 2:187)

A garment is close. A garment beautifies. A garment protects. When you actively seek to remain attractive to your spouse, you are strengthening the very garment Allah designed you to be.

Your love challenge for this week:

Tonight, surprise your spouse. Dress up—just for them. Spray your best scent. Smile like you did on the day you said “yes.” And whisper something only the two of you will remember.

Until next week, please keep the spark alive… for Allah’s sake, and for love’s sake… in shaa Allah.