Time together, time for Allah: Building spiritual & emotional intimacy

By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

Last week I met a couple who had been married for more than 25 years. They weren’t wealthy, they didn’t live in a fancy house, and yet when I sat with them, I felt warmth radiating between them. Curious, I asked the husband what their “secret” was. He chuckled and said: “We never stopped praying together, and we never stopped laughing together.”

SubhanAllah! It struck me so deeply. Their intimacy wasn’t built on extravagant vacations or luxury dinners. It was built on time shared—time in laughter, time in worship, and time in simply being present for each other.

Welcome to this week’s Love Chronicles edition.

Why does shared time matter?

In our busy lives, we often assume love will sustain itself, like a candle that never burns out. But love, like a flame, needs fuel. The fuel is time together. Without it, the heart grows distant even if the bodies are under the same roof.

The Prophet (PBUH) taught us this balance beautifully. He gave time to his companions, his community, his worship—but he also gave time to his family. Aisha (RA) said:

“The Messenger of Allah (PBUH) would talk with me at night, and I would talk with him.” (Muslim)

This wasn’t just casual chit-chat—it was a deliberate act of intimacy. Imagine: The Prophet of Allah, burdened with the responsibility of an entire ummah, still made space to listen and converse with his wife at night. That is love expressed through time.

Spiritual intimacy: worshipping together

One of the most overlooked forms of intimacy in marriage is spiritual intimacy. It is the closeness that grows when two hearts seek Allah together.

Praying side by side, waking each other gently for Fajr, making du‘a for each other—these are moments that bind souls as much as bodies.

The Prophet (PBUH) said:

“May Allah have mercy on a man who wakes up at night and prays, and then wakes his wife, and if she refuses, he sprinkles water on her face. And may Allah have mercy on a woman who wakes up at night and prays, and wakes her husband, and if he refuses, she sprinkles water on his face.” (Abu Dawud)

Notice how the hadith frames it—with mercy. Worshipping together is not a burden, but a mercy-filled act of love.

I know a young couple who keep a small Qur’an on their bedside. Before sleeping, they recite even just a few verses together. Some nights they manage a page, other nights only a single ayah. But over the years, this became their ritual—a quiet bond that not only increases their knowledge but softens their hearts towards each other.

Emotional intimacy: The gift of presence

Picture this: A husband comes home tired and plops on the sofa, scrolling endlessly on his phone. His wife sits beside him, equally tired, but longing for connection. Minutes turn into hours, and though they’re side by side, they are worlds apart.

Now picture this instead: He sets aside the phone, looks at her, and asks: “How was your day?” She smiles, relieved, and shares her little stories—the burnt chapati, the child’s funny comment, the neighbour’s visit. They laugh, they sigh, they listen.

The difference? One scenario leaves hearts lonely, the other leaves hearts full.

Carving out time, even when busy

Many couples say, “We’re too busy.” But the truth is—we make time for what matters. Even 15 minutes of undistracted, intentional time can work wonders.

• Share a cup of tea after dinner, phones away.
• Go for a short evening walk together.
• Cook a meal side by side.
• Plan one day a week for something just for the two of you.

It doesn’t have to be grand. What matters is consistency.

I once heard a scholar say: “The strongest couples are those who are friends in private, partners in worship, and companions in life’s struggles.”

Time together = Mercy in the home

Allah says in the Qur’an:

“And We created for you spouses from among yourselves that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (Qur’an 30:21)

Affection and mercy don’t just appear—they are nurtured. And nurturing requires time together. Without it, mercy withers. With it, tranquillity blooms.

If there’s one thing I have learned from couples young and old, it’s this: time is the most precious gift you can give your spouse. Not money, not things—time.

So, here is a gentle challenge for you this week: set aside at least one intentional moment of togetherness every day. It could be praying Maghrib side by side, sipping tea while chatting, or taking a slow evening walk. Protect that time as sacred. Because in those moments, you’re not just strengthening your marriage—you’re building a bridge to Jannah together.

May Allah bless our homes with laughter, our prayers with sincerity, and our marriages with the tranquillity that comes from time well spent—time with each other, and time for Allah.