Zahra Namuli
In my work within a hospital setting, I have been deeply pained by a troubling observation: many sick men walk into hospitals unassisted, unlike their female counterparts who often receive support. This discrepancy raises questions about the roles we play as children and the expectations placed on our fathers and brothers in seeking and receiving medical care.
What are we, as a society, not doing right? Why do many men feel compelled to endure illness without seeking help or support? This issue points to a broader societal problem where traditional norms and expectations hinder men from accessing the care they need. There is a prevailing cultural notion that men should be self-reliant, often at the expense of their health. This expectation can lead to delays in seeking treatment and a lack of support from family and friends.
In some family settings, it is unfortunate that wives may influence how children should care for their fathers, which can be unfair. While men may have their own flaws, the hospital bed should be a place where their transformation and healing begin. Ignoring their needs and contributions during this critical time can only push them further into distress and isolation.
It is essential to recognize that family dynamics and gender biases can significantly impact how support is provided to individuals in need. Men, often conditioned by societal expectations to be stoic and self-reliant, may not always seek or receive the support they need when they are ill. This can be compounded by family members who may not fully understand or appreciate the importance of offering compassionate care and support during a person’s time of illness.
Rather than allowing these biases and misunderstandings to dictate how care is given, it is crucial to adopt a more inclusive and empathetic approach. Each family member, regardless of their role or gender, deserves to be treated with dignity and care, especially when facing health challenges. By fostering an environment of support and understanding, we can help ensure that everyone receives the attention and assistance they need to recover and transform positively during their time of illness.
Islamic teachings offer profound insights into the importance of caring for our parents and elders, which can also be applied to understanding our role in supporting the men in our lives. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) emphasized the significance of showing kindness and respect to parents, as highlighted in numerous Hadiths.
For instance, in a well-known Hadith, the Prophet Muhammad said, “Heaven lies under the feet of the mother” (Sunan an-Nasa’i 3104). This underscores the high regard Islam places on the care and support of parents.
Moreover, in Surah Al-Isra (17:23), Allah commands:
“And your Lord has decreed that you not worship except Him, and to parents, good treatment.”
This verse reinforces the duty of caring for our parents and elders with compassion and respect.
If we extend these teachings to our broader family and community, we should reflect on how we can better support men who are ill. It is crucial to challenge the cultural norms that discourage men from seeking help and to encourage a more supportive environment where everyone, regardless of gender, feels comfortable and empowered to access medical care.
To men, isn’t it time to invest in better care for yourself during times of need? Many do not anticipate such moments, but it’s crucial to recognize the importance of seeking support and taking proactive steps for your well-being. Now is also an opportunity to strengthen ties with your family and children, fostering relationships that can provide essential support and comfort during challenging times. Prioritizing self-care and nurturing these connections not only benefits your health but also enhances the quality of life for both yourself and your loved ones.
Mothers, please do not close the door to care and support for your husbands in front of your children. Such actions can have negative consequences for both the family and society. Encouraging a supportive and caring environment is essential for the well-being of everyone involved. By showing compassion and fostering positive interactions, you set an example for your children and contribute to a healthier, more harmonious family dynamic.
We must foster a culture of empathy and support, where seeking medical help is not seen as a sign of weakness but as a responsible action toward one’s health and well-being. By doing so, we honour the values of compassion and care that are deeply rooted in our traditions and work towards a more equitable approach to healthcare for all.
