Why We Need Mahrams
By Rehma Nakiranda Raja
I am by far what you call an independent Muslima. A single mother of seven children – this journey has grown my independence, for lack of a better word. I have been on a bus upcountry at 3 am or walked from Nasser Road, in downtown Kampala, after midnight.
For a long time, my work required travelling long distances by plane, bus, or private means. Border point hustle and unsavoury seatmates; have been my biggest challenge. Worrying about uncouth travel companions that would touch you inappropriately as you dose.
I always thought the mahram (moving with a person who you are not allowed to marry) rule was outdated and didn’t apply in our modern times. Weren’t we strong independent courageous women? My firstborn recently came of age and I chose to put the mahram option into practice more out of the need to spend time with him and also get thawabs of reviving a Sunnah.
I can’t say I can imagine a trip without going with my Mahram. On a recent trip to Gulu, we found our hotel was not conducive for me and we walked until we found a hotel. I felt safer with him than I did. He is 6ft and 84 kg. I now don’t have to depend on strange men to help me up to a bus. Struggling to buy myself drinks or depending on strangers for help when I travel.
With more reflection, I realize Islam cherishes women. We are seen as vulnerable and must be protected unfortunately the religion is perverted by chauvinists who, twist the objective of the mahram rule into mental imprisonment (find a better word). We are accorded protectors our fathers, brothers, nephews, grandfathers, and husbands, not as a means of suffocation but out of love and care.
When my girls go anywhere by themselves they will come back with stories of unsavoury characters who approached them regardless of the fact that they wear hijab. When their brother walks with them two steps behind them they come back with no stories.
My son understands that he has to be there for his mother and three sisters as a pillar of strength and a symbol of protection. Maybe it falls on us the women to revive this Sunnah through our sons. So that they understand it from our point of view not the one of control and loss of liberty for the woman. Why are men actively participating in raising independent hardened women and then want to call the need for mahram law when it suits them? When they want to stand up to. oppress women.
How does a man drive a car home and lets his wife take a boda-boda to the middle of nowhere? Why would a father not be there for his daughters as they walk through Owino Market? Many Muslim sisters have been raised to view men as providers and not protectors.
With many single Muslim mothers and our brothers choosing the absent role, most women are actually more aggressive than men because they had to deal with men all their lives. I believe we can change the narrative. We can revive the Sunnah and teach our sons the true essence of the need for a mahram. Let us not forget mothers are the nurturers and we are the moulders of our children’s character. In my house, the need for a mahram has been established and it is not a symbol of oppression but one of love and care.
The kind of care that was considered when Allah decreed that the brother takes more of the inheritance but he has to take care of his sister. If we groom protectors of womenfolk, then we groom men worthy of the position Allah accorded them.
