Everyday love: The little gestures that speak loudest

By Hatmah Nalugwa Ssekaaya

Assalam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

 Not long ago, I boarded a commuter taxi from Kitende to Kampala. The morning rush was in full swing, with passengers shuffling for seats and conductors calling out their routes. I found my spot next to a couple who had their little son with them. At first, it seemed like an ordinary scene, but as the journey unfolded, I realized I was witnessing something beautiful—a living reminder of how love, when nurtured daily, speaks louder than grand gestures.

The man and his wife were engaged in a gentle, flowing conversation, their faces relaxed as though the bustle of Kampala traffic didn’t exist. What struck me most was the husband’s hand resting lightly on his wife’s shoulder throughout the ride. It wasn’t dramatic, nor was it done for show. It was a quiet gesture of reassurance, protection, and presence. His wife seemed at ease, her body language reflecting trust and comfort. Their young son, meanwhile, was completely immersed in a video game on his father’s phone, giggling with delight as his parents occasionally peeked at his screen.

To me, this was not just a taxi ride—it was a love lesson.

Love in the Little Things

In marriage, we often look for love in big surprises: candle-lit dinners, expensive gifts, or grand anniversaries. And while those moments have their value, the truth is that it is often the smallest gestures that leave the deepest imprint on the heart.

A hand on the shoulder.
A smile across a crowded room.
Sharing a phone with your child and enjoying their laughter together.

Allah describes marriage in the Qur’an beautifully:

“And among His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find tranquillity in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy. Indeed, in that are signs for a people who reflect.” (Qur’an 30:21)

That couple in the taxi was a living tafsir of this verse. Their affection was not in words alone, but in their posture, their shared ease, their son’s laughter, and their calm presence together.

Touch: The Silent Language of Love

Psychologists often say that touch is one of the most powerful nonverbal languages. A hug reduces stress, a pat on the back conveys encouragement, and a hand on the shoulder speaks of reassurance. Islam does not shy away from this reality—rather, it sanctifies it within the bond of marriage.

The Prophet (PBUH) would hold Aisha’s (RA) hand, and when he would pray with his wives at night, he would sometimes touch them gently to wake them for prayer. These were moments of intimacy, tenderness, and shared purpose.

That man’s hand on his wife’s shoulder in the taxi reminded me of this Sunnah. It was as if his touch was saying: “You are not alone in this journey. I am with you.”

Parenting through love

Another subtle but profound lesson in that scene was how the couple interacted with their son. By letting him play with his father’s phone, laughing with him, and sharing in his excitement, they were creating a joyful memory for him. He was learning—without a lecture—what a loving marriage looks like, what companionship between parents feels like, and what a secure family environment sounds like in laughter and warmth.

Our children absorb their understanding of love, respect, and mercy not just from what we tell them, but from what they see us practice. When they witness us showing affection to our spouses, serving one another, and speaking kindly, we are shaping their hearts to value these same traits in their own futures.

Lessons for us all

That taxi ride left me thinking deeply. And here are a few reflections I carried with me:

• Love doesn’t need a stage. You don’t need a grand moment to express affection. Sometimes, a simple gesture on an ordinary morning says more than a thousand words.
• Touch reassures. Never underestimate the power of a handheld, a hug shared, or a gentle touch on the shoulder. It can dissolve tension, create calm, and remind your spouse that you are truly present.
• Children are watching. The way you treat your spouse is the template your children will use for their own relationships. Teach them love through your actions, not just your words.
• Make love worship. When done with the intention of pleasing Allah, even small acts of affection become acts of ‘ibadah. That hand on the shoulder, that smile, that laugh—it can all count as charity in the eyes of Allah.

My final thoughts

As I stepped off that taxi in the busy heart of Kampala, I carried with me not just the memory of the ride, but a renewed conviction: marriage is not sustained by extraordinary occasions, but by everyday mercies.

💭 Dear reader, when was the last time you placed your hand gently on your spouse’s shoulder—not out of habit, but as a conscious act of love, mercy, and reassurance?

Sometimes, the most powerful love stories are not written in books. They unfold quietly in taxis, kitchens, living rooms, and everyday life. All we need is to notice them—and live them.

May Allah fill our marriages with tranquillity, bless our children with the joy of parents united in mercy, and make our everyday lives reflections of love that pleases Him… Ameen.