Understanding your silent wife

By Hatmah Naluggwa Ssekaaya

Assalaam alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh.
Men, do you know that your wife can be dying in silence while still performing her wifely duties? Many men tend to ignore this situation, but, you will need to understand her in order to know when she needs to be fixed.
When a woman is always moody, cries a lot, yells at the children, can easily sleep or sleeps a lot, she may be battling with something you are not careful enough to see.
Now, a real man will not allow his wife to fall apart without fixing her and making her better and happier.
Here are some tips on how you can support your wife:
Check if you are the problem: You might not be aware that you are her problem, but out of her respect and love for you, she may not tell you. Please ask, and let her talk sincerely.
Be aware of her responsibilities: Get to know how her workload is killing her. Regardless of whether she stays at home or goes to work, do you know what she does all day? If you don’t, ask her.
Be appreciative: Several men are not appreciative at all. They want to be appreciated by their wives and fail to reciprocate! As a husband, be mindful of your wife’s needs and appreciate her sacrifices.
Get involved before she burns out: Don’t just be appreciative, but get involved too. The best time to begin helping your wife is now.

Be an active participant: Be involved at home, and stop delegating parenting and family life. Don’t be a “visiting professor”, be an active partner in this business of your life.
Hold her: Hold your wife like a lover and a friend. Place your hands on her shoulder, her lap, hold her hands, just hold her, and let her feel you.
Just listen: Men are known to be good talkers but very bad listeners. At times what your wife needs is for you to just listen.
Be a partner, not a teacher: Most men do fall into the “Teaching trap” when they are supposed to be a partner, showing love and consideration.
Give her hope: No matter what happens, don’t ever raise up your hands in surrender.
Be sensitive: Get to know your wife’s mood, get to know her needs, get to know what needs to be done at home, and do them without prompting.
Pray for her and with her: Take your time off to pray for your wife, hand her over to her maker who knows the deepest need of her heart.
Ask her how you can be of help: Your wife knows what you can do to help her reset, so just ask her.

Help around the house: Give a helping hand around the house.
Allow your wife to cry, if she must: If she feels like crying, hold her to yourself and let her do the crying while you pat her on the back.
Let her go on holiday: Taking a break from her daily routine and spending some time away might do some great magic.
Help her relax: Give her a kitchen holiday for some days. If you know how to cook, put on that kitchen apron and do some cooking or hire somebody to do it for you.
Spend quality time together: Take her out, eat out, go to the cinema, go to wherever she will love to go.
May Allah make it easy for every husband, and may He give you more understanding about your wives, so as to foster healthy, meaningful and lasting relationships.
Assalam alaykum wa rahmatullahi wabarakaatuh.