When the screen speaks louder than you do

“Just five more minutes, Mum…”

If you’re a parent, you’ve probably heard those words more times than you can count.

Five minutes become thirty. Thirty become an hour.

Before you realise it, your child has spent the better part of the day with a screen while conversations, laughter and family moments quietly slip away.

With the school holidays fast approaching, many children will soon have more free time than usual. While holidays provide a well-deserved break from school routines, they also present one of the greatest parenting opportunities and challenges of our time.

The question is no longer whether our children will use technology. They will.

The real question is: Will they learn to master technology, or will technology quietly begin to master them?

A few days ago, I watched a mother repeatedly call her son. The first time, there was no response. The second time, nothing.

When he finally looked up after the third call, he apologised sincerely. He wasn’t being rude.

For those few moments, the world inside the screen had simply become louder than the one standing beside him. That moment stayed with me. Not because the child was addicted.

But because it reminded me how easily every child, and even every adult, can slowly drift into a digital world without realising it.

As parents, this holiday season gives us an opportunity to intentionally build our children’s Digital Intelligence. Not by fearing technology. Not by banning every device.

But by teaching children how to use technology wisely, responsibly and purposefully.

• Teach children to manage their attention, not just their screen time. Every notification, like and swipe trains the brain to crave more stimulation. Help them ask, “Am I controlling the screen, or is the screen controlling me?”

• Build self-discipline, not dependence on supervision. The goal is not to keep taking devices away. It is to raise children who know when it is time to put them down, even when no one is reminding them.

• Teach digital character. Kindness, honesty and respect should not disappear when children go online. Every message, comment and post should reflect the same values they demonstrate offline.

• Raise thinkers, not followers. Teach children to question, verify information and think critically before believing or sharing what they see online.

• Encourage children to become creators, not just consumers. Let them use technology to learn, write, design, research, solve problems and develop new skills instead of simply scrolling.

• Model the behaviour you expect. Children imitate what they consistently see. If we want them to develop healthy digital habits, we must demonstrate them ourselves.

• Remind children that time is an amanah from Allah. Every moment is a trust. Teaching them to use their time wisely, online and offline, nurtures responsibility, gratitude and consciousness of Allah.

As the holidays draw near, perhaps the greatest gift we can give our children is not another gadget. It is our presence. A conversation. A shared meal. A family game. A walk together.

A meaningful project.

Because one day, our children may not remember every video they watched. But they will remember how present we were.

If your child’s device was switched off for one afternoon during the holidays… What would they naturally choose to do instead?

The answer may reveal more than their screen time ever could. Technology is here to stay. Our responsibility is not to fight it. Our responsibility is to raise children who can use it with wisdom, discipline and strong character.

When that happens, the screen becomes a tool… Not a master.

PS: I work with parents, schools and institutions to intentionally nurture children’s character and multiple intelligences, through practical parenting programmes, school mentorship and leadership development.

Contact the author on: +256 772 858289 | +256 704 796915